Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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