Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
