Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
