ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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