yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
