wake up i wanna do it froggy style
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
