i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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