why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
