All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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