Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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