Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
