i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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