Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
