This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
