But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
worst night to have a conscience
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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