just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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