It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
