We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize