i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
