i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it hurts more in the daytime
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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