I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
