If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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