FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
