when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
