Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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