I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize