But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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