I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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