youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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