NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
