My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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