question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
