That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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