I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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