just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
