Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
