youre lurking in front of me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
