Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
