After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
