I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
