From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
