I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
