using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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