well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
