yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
