I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
