one might say we're banned from that church
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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