whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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