She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
