So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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