roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
