I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
