honey bunches of taint.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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