There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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