When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
