Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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