this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
