I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
