do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
