Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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