Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
